Ever since I began writing, I’ve heard so many authors talk about how much they love writing, and I’ve a confession to make—I don’t. Don’t get me wrong—writing is one of the best things to ever happen to me. It’s challenging, rewarding in ways that I can’t even begin to describe, and when I’m in “the zone,” time looses all meaning. I’m lost in the world I’ve created and alone with my characters. When I finish that day’s work, I feel like a deep sea diver slowly coming to the surface and there’s a second of re-orientation into reality. But I don’t love the task itself, and at one time I thought I should.
After WITCH WAY TO MURDER was released, I felt guilty about this attitude—since I didn’t love writing, maybe I wasn’t a “real” writer. It bothered me until I met Carolyn Hart. Now for those of you who are acquainted with Carolyn’s work, I don’t have to explain what a treasure she is to mystery lovers everywhere. For those of you who aren’t, you’re in for a treat—she’s created some wonderful mysteries. (My personal favorite is her Henrie O series!) She’s won numerous awards and is one of the founders of Sisters in Crime. So who better to ask if she loved writing? And I did—as we walked to her car on our way to dinner. Her response? “Are you kidding me?? Writing’s too hard of work to love!” I swear—I almost did a happy dance across the parking lot! If someone of Carolyn Hart’s stature didn’t love writing, it was okay for a newbie like me not to love it, too! She’d given me permission to feel the way that I did!
Fast forward three years—my back’s against the wall, THE WITCH’S GRAVE deadline is looming in front of me, and I’m stuck! Not just a little stuck—a lot stuck! And Ophelia and Abby weren’t talking to me—they were not helping me out of my sticky wicket at all. I tried and tried to get in touch with them, and my inner muse, but all I heard was silence. What to do…what to do? For me a good whine always helps, and who’d be the lucky one to hear it?? My good friend and writing buddy, Joanna Campbell Slan—her first mystery, PAPER, SCISSORS, DEATH is coming out this fall and we bounce ideas off one another all the time. I knew she’d lend a sympathetic ear.
And she did. Joanna listened to my rant until I ran out of steam, then kindly said, “I think you’re trying to write the great American novel…why don’t you stop doing that and just write your story?” A light bulb went off—she was right—I was trying too hard, second guessing myself every step of the way, and over-thinking everything. As a result, nothing was coming through—no wonder I couldn’t hear Ophelia and Abby—I wasn’t listening. By asking her question, like Carolyn, Joanna had given me permission. She’d given me the permission to write a story that came from inside of me, and not from what I thought I should be writing.
From now on, I’m taking this lesson that I’ve learned from these two terrific women and using it! From now on, and for whatever it’s worth, I’m giving myself permission to be…me! And I hope the same for all of you!
All the best,
Shirley
